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1490 Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of Ju Mark Twain
1489 Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over. Mark Twain
1488 When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings ou Mark Twain
1487 Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Mark Twain
1486 I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometime Mark Twain
1485 History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Mark Twain
1484 A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. Mark Twain
1483 Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. Mark Twain
1482 The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know Mark Twain
1481 Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that i Mark Twain
1480 Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed Mark Twain
1479 If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the Mark Twain
1478 Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the Mark Twain
1477 Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would Mark Twain
1476 Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our pe Mark Twain
1475 I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I Mark Twain
1474 It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them. Mark Twain
1473 I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who Mark Twain
1472 Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library Mark Twain
1471 Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. Mark Twain
1470 It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech. Mark Twain
1469 The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. Mark Twain
1468 Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. Mark Twain
1467 Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have so Mark Twain
1466 Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. Mark Twain
1465 Familiarity breeds contempt and children. Mark Twain
1464 Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; person Mark Twain
1463 I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened Mark Twain
1462 Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty. Mark Twain
1461 It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ai Mark Twain
1460 It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the Mark Twain
1459 The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seei Mark Twain
1458 Just when I thought I was learning how to live, 'twas then I realized I was lear Mark Twain
1457 Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. Mark Twain
1456 Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I trie Mark Twain
1455 All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any wo Mark Twain
1454 Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vas Mark Twain
1453 Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. Mark Twain
1452 It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove al Mark Twain
1451 Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than Mark Twain
1450 Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, Mark Twain
1449 If books are not good company, where shall I find it? Mark Twain
1448 The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven. Mark Twain
1446 Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at on Mark Twain
1445 She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and Mark Twain
1444 Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how litt Mark Twain
1443 A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in Mark Twain
1442 Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take t Mark Twain
1441 She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would Mark Twain
1440 The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but Mark Twain
1439 If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe Mark Twain
1438 A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. Mark Twain
1437 Wheresoever she was, there was Eden. Mark Twain
1435 He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your he Mark Twain
1434 All right, then, I'll go to hell. Mark Twain
1433 It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: Mark Twain
1432 The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. Mark Twain
1431 Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash Mark Twain
1430 My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water. Mark Twain
1429 Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain
1428 Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. Mark Twain
1427 In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school b Mark Twain
1425 Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. I Mark Twain
1424 When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. Mark Twain
1423 If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. Mark Twain
1422 The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly Mark Twain
1421 Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. Mark Twain
1420 Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain
1419 There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. Mark Twain
1418 Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. Mark Twain
1417 Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightening that does the work. Mark Twain
1416 Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living. Mark Twain
1415 [The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obsce Mark Twain
1414 In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated a Mark Twain
1413 There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Ins Mark Twain
1412 There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion Mark Twain
1411 It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deser Mark Twain
1410 Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. Mark Twain
1409 After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it Mark Twain
1408 Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food f Mark Twain
1407 Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore a Mark Twain
1406 Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. Mark Twain
1405 Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. Mark Twain
1404 You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things w Mark Twain
1403 I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have neve Mark Twain
1402 The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring Mark Twain
1401 Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid Mark Twain
1400 The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. Mark Twain
1399 Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consis Mark Twain
1398 A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. Mark Twain
1397 Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she Mark Twain
1396 It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably pre Mark Twain
1395 The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the Mark Twain
1394 Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it d Mark Twain
1393 Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. Mark Twain
1392 I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him Mark Twain
1391 Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain
1389 We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at leas Mark Twain
1388 Be good and you will be lonesome. Mark Twain
1386 Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we ex Mark Twain
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of Ju — Mark Twain
Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over. — Mark Twain
When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings ou — Mark Twain
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. — Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometime — Mark Twain
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. — Mark Twain
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. — Mark Twain
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. — Mark Twain
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know — Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that i — Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed — Mark Twain
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the — Mark Twain
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the — Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would — Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our pe — Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I — Mark Twain
It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them. — Mark Twain
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who — Mark Twain
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library — Mark Twain
Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. — Mark Twain
It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech. — Mark Twain
The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. — Mark Twain
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. — Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have so — Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt and children. — Mark Twain
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; person — Mark Twain
I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened — Mark Twain
Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty. — Mark Twain
It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ai — Mark Twain
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the — Mark Twain
The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seei — Mark Twain
Just when I thought I was learning how to live, 'twas then I realized I was lear — Mark Twain
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. — Mark Twain
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I trie — Mark Twain
All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any wo — Mark Twain
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vas — Mark Twain
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. — Mark Twain
It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove al — Mark Twain
Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than — Mark Twain
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, — Mark Twain
If books are not good company, where shall I find it? — Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven. — Mark Twain
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at on — Mark Twain
She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and — Mark Twain
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how litt — Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in — Mark Twain
Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take t — Mark Twain
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would — Mark Twain
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but — Mark Twain
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe — Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. — Mark Twain
Wheresoever she was, there was Eden. — Mark Twain
He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your he — Mark Twain
All right, then, I'll go to hell. — Mark Twain
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: — Mark Twain
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. — Mark Twain
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash — Mark Twain
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water. — Mark Twain
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. — Mark Twain
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. — Mark Twain
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school b — Mark Twain
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. I — Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. — Mark Twain
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. — Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly — Mark Twain
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. — Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. — Mark Twain
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. — Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. — Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightening that does the work. — Mark Twain
Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living. — Mark Twain
[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obsce — Mark Twain
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated a — Mark Twain
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Ins — Mark Twain
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion — Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deser — Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. — Mark Twain
After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it — Mark Twain
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food f — Mark Twain
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore a — Mark Twain
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. — Mark Twain
Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. — Mark Twain
You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things w — Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have neve — Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring — Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid — Mark Twain
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. — Mark Twain
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consis — Mark Twain
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. — Mark Twain
Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she — Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably pre — Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the — Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it d — Mark Twain
Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. — Mark Twain
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him — Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. — Mark Twain
We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at leas — Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonesome. — Mark Twain
Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we ex — Mark Twain