| 1490 |
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of Ju |
Mark Twain |
| 1489 |
Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over. |
Mark Twain |
| 1488 |
When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings ou |
Mark Twain |
| 1487 |
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. |
Mark Twain |
| 1486 |
I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometime |
Mark Twain |
| 1485 |
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. |
Mark Twain |
| 1484 |
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. |
Mark Twain |
| 1483 |
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. |
Mark Twain |
| 1482 |
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know |
Mark Twain |
| 1481 |
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that i |
Mark Twain |
| 1480 |
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed |
Mark Twain |
| 1479 |
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the |
Mark Twain |
| 1478 |
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the |
Mark Twain |
| 1477 |
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would |
Mark Twain |
| 1476 |
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our pe |
Mark Twain |
| 1475 |
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I |
Mark Twain |
| 1474 |
It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them. |
Mark Twain |
| 1473 |
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who |
Mark Twain |
| 1472 |
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library |
Mark Twain |
| 1471 |
Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. |
Mark Twain |
| 1470 |
It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech. |
Mark Twain |
| 1469 |
The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. |
Mark Twain |
| 1468 |
Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. |
Mark Twain |
| 1467 |
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have so |
Mark Twain |
| 1466 |
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. |
Mark Twain |
| 1465 |
Familiarity breeds contempt and children. |
Mark Twain |
| 1464 |
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; person |
Mark Twain |
| 1463 |
I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened |
Mark Twain |
| 1462 |
Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty. |
Mark Twain |
| 1461 |
It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ai |
Mark Twain |
| 1460 |
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the |
Mark Twain |
| 1459 |
The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seei |
Mark Twain |
| 1458 |
Just when I thought I was learning how to live, 'twas then I realized I was lear |
Mark Twain |
| 1457 |
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. |
Mark Twain |
| 1456 |
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I trie |
Mark Twain |
| 1455 |
All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any wo |
Mark Twain |
| 1454 |
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vas |
Mark Twain |
| 1453 |
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. |
Mark Twain |
| 1452 |
It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove al |
Mark Twain |
| 1451 |
Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than |
Mark Twain |
| 1450 |
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, |
Mark Twain |
| 1449 |
If books are not good company, where shall I find it? |
Mark Twain |
| 1448 |
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven. |
Mark Twain |
| 1446 |
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at on |
Mark Twain |
| 1445 |
She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and |
Mark Twain |
| 1444 |
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how litt |
Mark Twain |
| 1443 |
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in |
Mark Twain |
| 1442 |
Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take t |
Mark Twain |
| 1441 |
She was not quite what you would call refined.
She was not quite what you would |
Mark Twain |
| 1440 |
The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but |
Mark Twain |
| 1439 |
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe |
Mark Twain |
| 1438 |
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. |
Mark Twain |
| 1437 |
Wheresoever she was, there was Eden. |
Mark Twain |
| 1435 |
He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your he |
Mark Twain |
| 1434 |
All right, then, I'll go to hell. |
Mark Twain |
| 1433 |
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: |
Mark Twain |
| 1432 |
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. |
Mark Twain |
| 1431 |
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash |
Mark Twain |
| 1430 |
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water. |
Mark Twain |
| 1429 |
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. |
Mark Twain |
| 1428 |
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. |
Mark Twain |
| 1427 |
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school b |
Mark Twain |
| 1425 |
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. I |
Mark Twain |
| 1424 |
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. |
Mark Twain |
| 1423 |
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. |
Mark Twain |
| 1422 |
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly |
Mark Twain |
| 1421 |
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. |
Mark Twain |
| 1420 |
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. |
Mark Twain |
| 1419 |
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. |
Mark Twain |
| 1418 |
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. |
Mark Twain |
| 1417 |
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightening that does the work. |
Mark Twain |
| 1416 |
Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living. |
Mark Twain |
| 1415 |
[The Bible] has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obsce |
Mark Twain |
| 1414 |
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated a |
Mark Twain |
| 1413 |
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Ins |
Mark Twain |
| 1412 |
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion |
Mark Twain |
| 1411 |
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deser |
Mark Twain |
| 1410 |
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. |
Mark Twain |
| 1409 |
After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it |
Mark Twain |
| 1408 |
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food f |
Mark Twain |
| 1407 |
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore a |
Mark Twain |
| 1406 |
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. |
Mark Twain |
| 1405 |
Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them. |
Mark Twain |
| 1404 |
You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things w |
Mark Twain |
| 1403 |
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have neve |
Mark Twain |
| 1402 |
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring |
Mark Twain |
| 1401 |
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid |
Mark Twain |
| 1400 |
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. |
Mark Twain |
| 1399 |
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consis |
Mark Twain |
| 1398 |
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. |
Mark Twain |
| 1397 |
Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she |
Mark Twain |
| 1396 |
It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably pre |
Mark Twain |
| 1395 |
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the |
Mark Twain |
| 1394 |
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it d |
Mark Twain |
| 1393 |
Reality can be beaten with enough imagination. |
Mark Twain |
| 1392 |
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him |
Mark Twain |
| 1391 |
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. |
Mark Twain |
| 1389 |
We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at leas |
Mark Twain |
| 1388 |
Be good and you will be lonesome. |
Mark Twain |
| 1386 |
Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we ex |
Mark Twain |