jayjayp

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. - Author object (142)

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. - Author object (142)

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. - Author object (142)

I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it. - Author object (142)

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? - Author object (142)

Everyone smiles in the same language. - Author object (142)

No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to. - Author object (142)

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. - Author object (142)

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. - Author object (142)

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. - Author object (142)

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - Author object (142)

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend. - Author object (142)

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. - Author object (142)

It's never just a game when you're winning. - Author object (142)

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - Author object (142)

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think. - Author object (142)

And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling. - Author object (142)

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. - Author object (142)

Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack. - Author object (142)

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. - Author object (142)