jayjayp

Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. - Author object (142)

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. - Author object (142)

You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. - Author object (142)

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. - Author object (142)

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - Author object (142)

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - Author object (142)

Think of how it all started: America was founded by slave owners who informed us, "All men are created equal." All "men," except Indians, niggers, and women. Remember, the founders were a small group of unelected, white, male, land-holding slave owners who also, by the way, suggested their class be the only one allowed to vote. To my mind, that is what's known as being stunningly--and embarrassingly--full of shit. - Author object (142)

Religion is just mind control. - Author object (142)

I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam. - Author object (142)

It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. - Author object (142)

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. - Author object (142)

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple. - Author object (142)

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. - Author object (142)

People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. - Author object (142)

It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting. - Author object (145)

So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. - Author object (145)

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure. - Author object (145)

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering. - Author object (145)

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. - Author object (145)

The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times. - Author object (145)