jayjayp

My brain? That's my second favorite organ. - Author object (362)

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. - Author object (362)

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve immortality through not dying. - Author object (362)

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. - Author object (362)

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic. - Author object (362)

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Author object (362)

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. - Author object (362)

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. - Author object (362)

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio. - Author object (362)

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. - Author object (362)

Those who can't do teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym. - Author object (362)

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Author object (362)

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Author object (362)

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Author object (362)

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Author object (362)

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. - Author object (362)

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Author object (362)

I can levitate birds. No one cares. - Author object (362)

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member. - Author object (362)

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. - Author object (362)