jayjayp

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. - Author object (362)

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Author object (362)

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? - Author object (362)

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Author object (362)

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Author object (362)

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. - Author object (362)

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. - Author object (362)

You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past. - Author object (362)

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. - Author object (362)

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in those words. - Author object (362)

This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs. - Author object (362)

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love. - Author object (362)

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ. - Author object (362)

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman. - Author object (362)

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Author object (362)

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. - Author object (362)

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? - Author object (362)

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier. - Author object (362)

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds. - Author object (362)

It's better to be rich than poor if only for financial reasons. - Author object (362)