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Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
<em>Exchange between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill—</em>
Winston Churchill
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I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one." <em>— George Bernard Shaw, playwright (to Winston Churchill)</em> "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one." <em>— Churchill's response</em>
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