jayjayp

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. - Author object (24)

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. - Author object (24)

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Author object (24)

Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately. Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed away for two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh--not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court. - Author object (24)

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. - Author object (24)

Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. - Author object (24)

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Author object (24)

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water. - Author object (24)

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat. - Author object (24)

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. - Author object (24)

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you. - Author object (24)

All right, then, I'll go to hell. - Author object (24)

He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'. - Author object (24)

Wheresoever she was, there was Eden. - Author object (24)

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. - Author object (24)

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times. - Author object (24)

The so-called Christian nations are the most enlightened and progressive ... but in spite of their religion, not because of it. The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetic in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. And every step in astronomy and geology ever taken has been opposed by bigotry and superstition. The Greeks surpassed us in artistic culture and in architecture five hundred years before Christian religion was born. - Author object (24)

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. - Author object (24)

Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it. - Author object (24)

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. - Author object (24)